November Roundup, '19
Welp, the TV season slowdown and the simultaneous streaming service ramp-up have officially begun. So far, there isn't much promise in Apple TV+ or Disney+ as far as I can see, but there are a few diamonds in the rough to be found. The do's and don'ts of the new shiz is ahead, kiddos, with (as always) the real good shit in bold:
Watch This Shit:
Eighteen years ago Miri [accidentally?] killed someone. Two days out of an extended stay [in prison? A mental health facility? Some specifically-British kind of rehab?] and she's already got a stalker. Three days in, she's got a terrible haircut and a job!
There's a lot to unpack, but the showrunners are unpacking it very well. Plus, it's Daisy Haggard, which is reason enough to watch.
I'm not a huge history buff, as any loyal reader (hey, boo, love your face) has probably surmised, but this series and it's American predecessor are really fucking pretty.
True crime fans, this is one for the ages. The court trials of Ivan the Terrible, who played a significant role in the torture and murder of countless Holocaust victims.
Emily Dickinson meets Another Period in Apple TV+'s only good initial offering.
A look at a codependent girlfriend (and objectively bad friend) getting dumped and what comes next for her, through a surrealist lens.
I've been itching for Celebrity Ghost Stories to make a comeback, but this is the closest we're gonna get. There's a new name and they've gotten rid of the ugly green background, but it's the same ol' scary story goodness.
What happens when the internet connects everyone, via their own minds, and it gets hacked. Proper sci-fi creepies with British accents, it first aired in the UK last September, but had it's US premiere this month on Amazon.
I guess "Hometown" is the Travel Channel's polite way of saying "Hicksville." But, with that said, I'm not mad at it. Country folks have crazier stories than most. Case and point: episode one, starring none other than... the Pigman.
YES. YES. YES. If Apple was smart, they would've launched they're + nonsense a day earlier, with this series in toe, and hyped it up as a Halloween premiere because, as it stands, it's the only show they've put out that I absolutely fucking love. And their dumbasses waited nearly a full month before premiering it.
Seriously, I don't even want to tell y'all anything about it. Just know that it's insane and spooky and you should watch the fatherfuck out of it and LAUREN AMBROSE and good Jesus it's so good.
Meh:
It's cute and all, but why the goddamn does it cost 5 to 6 MILLION dollars per episode to create? It makes it a bit uncomfortable to watch for me, to be honest.
Don't Watch This Shit:
An Irish murder mystery with a bad case of the borings. (There's a real cute ginge, though.)
High School Musical: The Musical: The Series
At what point do we admit that we've failed as a society?
A historian with worse narration than Tyra Banks investigates random relics brought to him by buddies. Episode one deals mostly with Hitler's horoscope. It's cool if you're into that sort of thing, I guess? Except... no. No, it's not.
As if the actual news we've got to deal with wasn't exhausting enough, Apple TV+'s head of programming (who's been out of a job since two weeks after its launch, by the way) thought a series about the folks telling us the news would be somehow entertaining. The writers are painting a picture in which a conservative news reporter who, herself, screams "fake news," is the only character we're supposed to actually feel sympathetic towards. (Yawwwwwn.)
Honorable Mention:
The life and times of Harlem's Apollo Theater, to the backdrop of Ta-Nehisi Coates' "Between the World and Me."
Netflix's documentary about the creepy-ass yoga creeper being a cree-ee-eep.
Dear Straight White Men: Fucking. Watch. This.
The Shit I Missed:
An up-close and personal look at the citizens who do everything they can to hold police accountable. Who they are, why they do it, and exactly why it's so vitally important.